Thursday, April 30, 2009


words i love to say:
basket (davis ann's new nickname)

I hate the feeling of a wet floor on my feet.. its bothered me more and more.. not much grosses me out at all but it makes me cringe

I like cabinets to be closed but i don't care about my clothes falling out of my drawers..

I check the mail literally every time i walk outside of the door no matter the time of day and if Ive already gotten it...

I count my steps a lot when i am walking a lot of the time.. especially going up steps.

I talk to myself out loud when i am alone.. and sometimes like now.. as im sitting in Panera Ive had to watch not typing everything i write outloud..

The End.

Its been a good day.

Sunday, April 26, 2009


I'm sitting at the Maddox Beach house watching Davis Ann and Sara clean the kitchen.. haha i should be helping.. and will after i finish this quick blog..

This weekend Sara, Davis-Ann, Erica, and I went to the beach. Ive always been one to have a few close friends in my life that i see all the time and no one else. Ive gone through being discouraged because i don't have a ton of friends in the past but have realized i wouldn't change it for anything for having a few best friends who would do or give anything for me. 

Our trip was fun. It was relaxing (as all trips to the beach should be).
Its one of my favorite places. I love coming here because i usually get my own room that has my own balcony that i can leave open all day and night. I slept with the balcony doors open last night.. it was perfect.. the doors have these sheer white curtains in front of them that blow every time the wind comes in.  Its one the prettiest things. 

I feel like I'm in a weird place in life. A place where so many things are un certain and un sure.. is it just where i am or is life forever going to be like this? growing up you did the same thing everyday, went to school, you knew what you were gonna do the next year.. pretty much who would be your friends and whether or not you were gonna do the same after school activities.. once you graduate it all gets thrown up in the air.. and it does not come back down again.. 
 hmm. i dunno?

Ive been really clinging to the truth that God wont let me stay where i am. That he wont let me grow stagnate but he will do anything to keep me going and growing.. He will bring me to completion. For this I'm thankful. 

My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. psalm 63:8

Music for me for the weekend: Griffin House. 
Verse: psalm 40.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


This past weekend was great.
best weekend i can think of in a while.. a long while..
reason #1. i got to do something that i haven't done in a while and that i wish i did more.. i went to a concert with Davis Ann, Emma, and Sara Friday night.. we saw Matthew Mayfield for free at the Bama theater. I love the feeling of sitting and just listening and appreciating someones music.. his voice is kinda mesmerizing. It was perfect.
and reason #2. Matt surprised me!!!
Story: I decided earlier this year that i wanted to have a celebrity dinner party. Just where everyone comes over and eats dinner dressed as a celebrity. No big deal but i told Matt when it was.. which was this past Saturday.. for the past few weeks he had been telling me how bad he wished he could go and bah blah blah.. so. Last week he told me he was going on a retreat with his fraternity brothers Friday night and wouldn't have service and that he had to work and couldn't get out of it so there was no way he could come visit me.. He had also told me earlier that week that i was getting a package on Friday or Saturday.. so Friday goes on and i thought Matt had gone on his camping trip.. we went to the concert.. then Bruno's.. and came home. Emma and i were looking at pictures of Angelina Jolie for my costume on Saturday.. and the door bell rings.. Sara told me to go to the door and so ya know i did.. and was confused when i saw a huge box on our door step.. it was really quiet and Davis Ann and Erica had disappeared for a while so i thought they were doing something silly.. also Erin was standing at the end of the drive way making funny faces.. so i just shut the door and told Sara i didn't want to open it.. haha i even said "maybe its Matt.. just kidding" and so someone said from the porch.. open the box.. and so with a little help.. up came the box and there stood Matt.. i was so shocked.. i mean i thought or pretended in my head earlier that week that he maybe would surprise me but didn't really think it would happen.. it was great. and def. needed.. he had planned it since before spring break!.. best surprise ever.. he didn't even slightly let it slip.. i have an amazing boyfriend... it totally made my semester...

Today was a good day too.
The Lord is really sweet to me.. i prayed on the way to class today that he would pour his affections out on me and that in doing so it would cause me to pour mine back on him.. and tonight he did.. i didn't even realize he had answered this prayer until i left crusade but during worship tonight he just reminded me of how much he treasures the fact that i loved him from such a young age.. Ive known the lord and walked with him for a really long time.. i remember loving the Lord in 6th grade and having such a innocence about life.. he told me that he loved my heart then and that he still remembers it and sees that in me now no matter what i see, ,think, or feel. No matter how much i have been corrupted by this world and have had innocence stolen from me he sees me as an innocent child.. it broke my heart. He really loves me.. and him telling me these things stirred my heart.. how can i not love such a God who takes so much delight in me even in my broken sinful body.. His love draws me nearer.

I am nothing more than this tonight
I hope for a dream to pass you by..
you'd see me fight for you my bride
I know in this way, like oceans waves
love comes to life in your embrace
For you id give my life away
and as we are leaving the grips of this life ill be by your side
I long for a day when freedom reigns
with you in my arms ill watch you sleep and kiss your lips with fire and peace
-Matthew Mayfield

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Simple Times.

A few things I know, Ive learned, or knew but that got re-affirmed.

1. I know I have wonderful friends. They are so thoughtful and love me.
2. I know my boyfriend has awesome taste. (He gave me the best shoes ever for my birthday)
3. I know Forgiveness brings peace and healing.
4. I know I love bags. My friend Sarah had this great one that i always told her i loved everytime i saw her and so she gave it to me for my birthday!
5. I know love music. I listened to Passion Pit this morning and it put me in a good mood and now I'm listening to Joe Purdy and artists like him on makes my heart happy.
6. I know with my birthday money im buying a pair of Nike's. some white pants. and maybe a bathing suit.
7. I know i need to more patience in my life. Its running a little dry these days.
8. I know i want to live a simple life. And am trying to figure out how to do so.

Is it enough to write a song and sing it to the birds?
They'd hear just the tune
Not understand my love for words
But you would hear me and know
I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.
I dreamed you first
But not so real
And everyday since I've found you
Such moments we steal
Like little thieves, we rub our hands
We hold our hearts between them.
But will you hear me and know?
I want only this, I want to live
I want to live a simple life.
-the weepies

Monday, April 13, 2009


"I'm holding onto love that i cant see...
...but i believe."
[luke wood]

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Little Women.

Ive always been told that out of the girls from Little Woman i would be Beth.
She is quiet, kinda sweet, and doesn't have a strong personality. But being Beth is kinda sad.. She didn't think too much of herself.. she didn't talk much and dies in the story.
I mean out of the 4 i am most like her because I'm nothing like the other 3.
Today I've felt more like Joe. Not her strong willed personality or drive but her stubbornness and nostalgia.
I found myself asking questions like she asks. Joe never wanted change and when good things were before her she froze and was scared to move. Of course good things happen to her in the end but she went though a time of resistance to get where she went. My family came to celebrate Easter in Decatur this year. Wesley is in Costa Rica and couldn't be there.. my cousin and aunt were in Boston.. Its gotten to the point where you know its never gonna be the same again.. people move away.. die.. or for other reasons cant be in the same place they were for so many years.. growing up the family always felt complete.. ever since my uncle died when i was in 6th grade it hasn't been the same. Its always been one less person.. now its even more.. someday the cycle will start over and additions to the family will come but why cant they just stay the same? Why cant i have consistency? consistency in things like this but also in other areas of my life.. and the next question is when will things change? Ive wanted to change certain things for so long now. about myself. about situations. about life.
I want consistency and change. hm. To me, the two sound like they contradict each other.
I dunno.
Today i am Joe.
Tomorrow.. i dunno who ill be.. haha
hopefully myself..

All i do know is that I turn 21 tomorrow and I want to start a book club.

3 things im thankful for:
1. For Jesus. For him dying and raising again to save me :)
2. Getting to spend time with jessica
3. My mom. the massage and pedicure she got me. and for her telling the easter bunny to get me twilight. Shes a good mom.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Birminhmam, Memphis, KC, Detroit

Today I celebrate one of my best friend in the whole worlds birthday.. Davis Ann Maddox.
She was born 21 years ago today and i am so blessed that the Lord gave her to me to be my best friend in college.. so thanks for being born Davis Ann and for being so wonderful.. happy birthday! :)

This past weekend I went to KC to go to a formal with Matthew.
The trip was adventurous and eventful as all of my trips to see him are. I ended up not getting to KC till midnight due to a 4 hour plane delay in Memphis.. it all worked out though..
i had to fight keeping a good attitude and still being excited and thankful i was getting the opportunity to see him.
The Lord blessed my layover by giving me people to talk to. I decided since i had 4 hours to kill i would sit down, eat dinner, and read my bible.. only place i found.. was a bar.
I did it anyways and ended up getting to talk to a guy about the Lord and was so encourage by his testimony of how good the Lord had been to him. It really blessed my heart..
That Friday ended up being the best time if had with the lord in a long time. I heard him speak to me more clearly that day than i have in so long. I felt the freedom he gives when his children walk in obedience. He really does work all things together for my good.

My plane rides were interesting too.. i didn't listen to my ipod like i normally do but found myself talking to every person i sat by for the hour to 2 hours i was on the plane.. It was one of those trips i feel like i needed a video camera to document the lives and conversations of the people that i talked to.
I sat by a sweet old black man who loves the lord and was so kind to me on the way to Memphis.. from Memphis to KC i talked to a 29 year old doctor who had been up for almost 30 hours.. he talked to me about everything you can imagine.. and gave me advice about relationships.. it was interesting. I felt as if he was giving me worldly advice but felt the Lord use it and speak to me through it.. He talked to me about Matt and said ..
" think no one understands what it is between you two.. and you right.. no one does and no one ever will..its about you and him.."
Hearing him say that has stuck with me. I had a hard time at the beginning of the year feeling approval from friends here about being in a relationship. Ive had to learn to trust in the lord alone about what is right and not rely on the approval of man. It is.. "all about you and him" ..about the Lord and me.. then Matthew and me..
It took that conversation for me to confidently let it go and be okay with that.
On the way home i flew all the way to Detroit.. sat by 1st a Mormon lady.. that was interesting.. and 2nd Alabama's old basketball coach.. one of the ones that just got released.. He was from LA so we had a great life in California talk.

I was in KC for maybe 31 hours. I was worth is though. I think dinner was one of my favorite parts of the trip. We got to eat in Union Station at a place called Pierpont's. We were served a 4 course mean in a private room with old 20's music playing in the background. We turned the night into a fake life story.. the 8 of us became the Godoricci's. A wealthy Italian family who is part of the Mafia. It was perfect. I love being creative and playing pretend.

2 things i know for certain..

1. That God is beyond good.
2. That I adore Matthew more and more every time i am around him.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Thoughts from Mass Comm.

I'm skipping class.
We are under a tornado warning so its probably a good excuse right?

I did go to my last class only because we had a quiz..
That class was my Mass Communications class.. Its very interesting but my teacher makes stupid jokes all the time.. and because its a 101 class we have a lot of freshman in there.. and therefore we have story time.. all the time.. not from the teacher but from the students..
for example.. One day we were talking about books.. and the topic of teachers came up and a girl raises her hand and says.. " my moms a teacher".. and the point is? haha this is a topic Davis Ann and I go on about.. its hilarious.. we had story time for like 30 min. today from people telling their pointless stories that related to only one word our teacher would say.. haha i sound mean.. anyways during this time i just tuned out.. and thought about random things.. I usually play the "what If" game in my head... like what if I just got up and ran around the room? or what if people were really colors like it says in the bible song "red, yellow, black, or white".. like not just a brown tint or tanish color.. but really colors.. haha wouldn't that be crazy!? im weird.... but have to entertain myself somehow..

Anyways on Tuesday we also talked about music and my teacher opened up the class with "if i took your ipod and looked at your music i could tell what kind of person you are".. I've always thought this not wanting to judge people on music but i does tell something about someone whether they want it to or not.. it made me think what people would say about me if they looked at my ipod? or better yet what do i want for people to think about me when looking at my ipod?

Music from today: Jordan Mahy's burnt CD he made.. and Gabrielle singing along...
Hm. what does that tell you?.. haha oh man.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009



Its been a while.

a few things... or 10 things..

1. I feel more inspired lately.
2. Music: I'm flying to Kansas City Friday to go to a formal with Matthew.. :) i went to Barnes and Noble tonight and bought a Paste magazine (its a music magazine) and I'm excited about reading and discovering new things on the plane ride there.. also I'm obsessed with Pandora radio again.. i played in last night while i studied and didn't hear one song that came on i didn't like.. its been good to me.. everyone should try it out sometime
3. My best friend told me the other day that reading my blog made her a little nostalgic.. and after thinking about it.. i decided its because.. I'm nostalgic.. not on purpose but almost everything makes me that way.. songs.. rides home alone in my car.. sunsets.. seeing faces from the past i don't see often.. i think its the melancholy part of my personality coming out..
4. Liz's sister asked me to paint a picture for her husband for their anniversary to go in their dinning room.. I don't normally paint things for people but she gave me a picture and I'm getting paid pretty well so.. I'm kinda nervous but you gotta start somewhere right?
5. I'm planning a party.. its gonna be the best party ever.. its a dinner party where everyone has to come as a Hollywood couple.. but i mean dates arnt required.. Davis Ann and i brainstormed for ideas today while we swung at the park :)
6. Ive been really humbled by so much lately..
7. I love rice cakes and hot peppermint tea. Not together but they are my new and recent obsession.
8. I got a project back tonight in design class i turned in on Monday.. i got a 99 on it! and the one point was taken off because of how messy my craftsmanship is.. i cant help it glue sticks to everything.. ha but i was excited :) my teacher said that it was one his favorites and one of the best he's seen while teaching design! i was humbled because i didn't think it was that great and it kinda boosted my confidence which can always use boosting a little..
9. I wanna see this! :)
10. Random but.. I hate my pride.. and Ive realized its hard for me to trust people lately..dunno why but i want to work on changing that?..

Music for the day: Jesse Rogers Goodman :) and a little Pandora Radio (lisa hannigan inspired)