Friday, March 13, 2009

cant put a finger on it.

I already posted today.. but need a break from cleaning and packing
I'm kinda in a annoyed mood for some reason

Its kinda rainy and cold. Not the kind of rain that's enjoyable though.

Sara has made me feel better though letting me talk to her. She's calmed me.
We ate lunch and have been hanging out in Davis Ann's room. haha. Its what we do when shes not here... Thanks Davis Ann.

Ive been packing for Texas. Packing used to be a fun thing to do for me. Maybe its because i do it a lot more these days so its harder to enjoy? who knows.
I'm also still unsure about what i need to do this summer. It stresses me out. One day I'm confident about it the next i don't feel right about it. Dunno what that's about.

Good things from today: listening to Amos Lee, reading Hosea, the fact i am still wearing the same clothes i slept in still.. even to class.

I'm trying to snap out of my mood. Its extremely hard to do though.
Tomorrow makes an escape for me. When i was younger i always wanted to run away alone. Go to an airport by myself. Just me and the Lord, watch all of the people, listen to my music, and hope it would do something for me. The first time i did that was flying out to California summer after my freshman year. I called it my my adventure with the Lord. It literally felt like we were traveling together, like he was sitting next to me on the plane. The last few times its not had the same feeling but hopefully this time it will. Tomorrow me and Jesus are going on a trip to see Matt. I want the intimacy with the lord that i felt that first time i traveled alone.
Is that weird i think about it that way? haha probably is to some people but oh well. He does go with me everywhere. I want to fellowship with His spirit closely in every part of my life. Ive slacked letting Him be what consumes me fully this year. Its just been harder to do so. Everything's so much more at peace when I do. When the fight gets tougher next time i hope i push myself harder and not back down like i do with everything else in my life. I'm only human though and I'm not always gonna do things perfectly.. i have to remind myself of this. Glad He loves me just the same even in that.

wow i feel like that was kind of a depressing entry but oh well.
haha i feel a little better.

Ah I'm thankful its Spring Break...

I see Matthew really soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Post a Comment